What I Finally Learned to Put Down

By Kelby O’Shea, Centenary Landscaping

I have always viewed my life as a process of transformation. So, when I was struggling in the middle of 2023, and my accountant at the time recommended I check out EO, it all made perfect sense as a pathway to explore.

At the time, I was exhausted, confused, uncertain and above all, in over my head. My brother who had been CEO had just left the company an explosive final clash with my father, the founder of the company and now it was clear I had to step up and run things. I was left in a position that I never thought I would find myself in, as I had sculpted myself to fit in the organisation as a supporting player. Strong, but ultimately supportive.

I didn’t know it yet, but EO in general, and Forum in particular would be the single most important way that I was able to move through the chaos and uncertainty, and into a place of confidence, peace and increased personal growth.

It didn’t start well. I took a while to be placed in a forum and then due to timing issues we didn’t really get going until the first year of membership was already most of the way done. I was ready to quit, but then I was offered the moderator role for the following year. I decided to stay to see if that experience could help the rubber to hit the road.

I found that just the intention to step up and take a leadership role shifted something in my attitude to forum. Then things started to work, forum increased to a size where the tools really started to shine and I did my first planned deep dive. It was about the ongoing challenges I was having with my brother, who didn’t talk to me for years shortly after his exit from the business.

I had near immediate relief from the process of preparing the deep dive, and then the opportunity to present to the forum shifted things again. Instead of feeling alone, isolated, stuck and angry, I felt connected, understood, seen and heard in that space of confidentiality that makes forum so special. I didn’t feel better straight away, but I realised a few weeks later, that I felt lighter and less burdened by baggage I didn’t realise I was carrying.

More recently, I have been a member of the LEAD program, a component of which is daily personal journalling driven by purposeful questions. I have journalled on and off in my life and have always found it useful but not especially so. Then on one journalling day the question came.

“Who do you need to forgive, and why?”

I thought, nobody of course, I don’t hold grudges. But as I sat with the question and began to write I realised that’s true. True for everyone except for myself. Once again, I took hold of the opportunity to explore this with my forum in a deep dive on our latest retreat in beautiful Byron Bay. Unlike the first major energy shift I had, the change was much faster, and I noticed it and I knew why it had happened. Because this time it wasn’t baggage, it wasn’t a weight, it was much more present. Persistent in daily minute to minute and hour to hour thoughts, dragging me down, and preventing me from living with clarity, peace and focus.

The EO journey of transformation for me is not about finally finding the thing that works for me. It’s an accumulation. I have spent most of my life in search of wisdom and truth, and I learned many powerful practices, skills and frameworks. Forum is where I can use my accumulated wisdom in practice. It’s a moment to escape the routine and really be present with myself, and also with my peers and unleash the aspects of myself that lie often dormant within.

It’s the difference between knowing something, and experiencing it. There is a difference, and the only way to really know it is to feel it working in daily life. When something complex crystalises into something simple, something deeply understood and clear.